WHAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW
Silence falls between us as our worlds separate after the seductive pleasure
of a long kiss;
We hold hands and walk slowly, slightly dazed by the hypnotic moment of pure passion.
I can't know what she is thinking as she smiles and looks over at me,
but my reverie is fading against a growing cold blue backdrop of what is to come;
What she doesn't know will come to hurt her deeply as surely as I know
that my days are limited to hours, and those hours are filled with the ghostly agonies of
words left unsaid and personal affairs left in disarray.
And as much as I've tried to prepare for my end to come,
I had wanted to fill my remaining days with love and lust and joy -
so much longing in my life, with so much pain and regret;
What she doesn't know will certainly shock her, as I could never have shared my plans
with her, for had I done so, this moment before dying could never have been.
Although my pleasure is ridden with guilt at this impossible knowledge,
my apology to this creature of intense beauty will never come,
For it will have been too late to confess this final sin before leaving,
... and is it so wrong to want to die with the warmth of a kiss on my lips?
It is all that I will take with me. And she cannot know. Not now.
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