LAST DANCE AT SUNSET
the setting sun of late august,
a fireball in the evening sky
is slowly, majestically retreating
into a horizon of trees beyond count;
and i ask you only for one long slow dance
to the music of crickets, distant waves, and the traffic
on the highway far from our small clearing of flattened grass
here in these beautiful cedar woods;
please speak not, love of my life, my dream, my muse, my memory
as i embrace you and our hearts touch
and as we slowly, gracefully whirl in the evening
and i savor, to remember forever, the fragrance of jasmine
and sandalwood in your long, beautiful hair, and the scent
of gentle honeysuckle at the nape of your neck;
and a tear slowly rolls down your cheek, as you realize
that moments like this very one can only be followed by loss;
our bodies move together so easily, so lovingly, as if one,
and yet, i know that this is the last dance at sunset
and that i shall not ever see another the like of it;
i have failed at all things but loving you -
i have fallen too far to stand as a man should stand -
you once called me a fallen angel, but i was just a devil given a chance to do good...
i have wrapped my life in a labyrinth of unsolvable complexities
and sins and transgressions - living a glorious lie...
but you are silent, my love, with a tear in your eye and a slight smile on your face, painted by the night, like an angel's,
and i clutch you closer as your soft, sweet lips meet mine
for one last smooth, warm time;
and we continue, wordlessly dancing in a sacred embrace
that i have taken as my last request, a request answered by a god
in whom i'd never before believed, who showed no judgment of me
in honoring my request for this one special assignation;
i think not of my death to come as i am obsessed with the
utter purity of your love as we sway to rhythms which we alone can
you whisper in my ear, so gently, like the touch of a butterfly
"please don't leave me," but i cannot lie one more time and i reply
"this is the last time i will ever leave you, my darling, my treasure";
and i know in that moment that it is the best one of my life,
and that i will take the memory of it to my very death -
in the morning, before the sun has quite come up i will be by myself, with this sweet memory in my mind as i lay in my hotel bed, chemicals rushing through my body and eliminating the pain
of facing another day in this world which i cannot seem to conquer;
but the fleeting visions that will breeze and whip through my miasma-riddled mind as my body tries to fight its termination will be of you and of me locked in a lovers' embrace, dancing together
at the last dance of sunset, and the last picture in my fading consciousness will be of you in the shadow of the setting august moon.
And when i am no more, i pray that you will forgive my cowardly retreat - but i have been here too long and have seen and done too much and i know that it is my time to leave this tormented life.
in my last breath, i am certain that i will quietly call out your name, my greatest love of all persons and things loved.
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